looking at me, you definitely wouldn’t label me as depressed. You might say i look sad, or not happy, but never depressed. no one can really tell if someone is depressed, unless the person dealing with depression tells you they are. thats kind of disappointing, that no one can tell, because if they could tell they’d reach out to you, to help.
if you think depression is a choice, its not, by any means. depression is a thing that happens to you. if affects you in every way possible. if you've never been depressed, you're lucky. and although i cannot tell you what it feels like to be depressed, i can tell you its not fun. you have this permanent rain cloud looming over you, and it’s not the soft, warm, okay rain. its the heavy, freezing cold, miserable rain. the rain that no one likes being stuck outside in.
if you're depressed, you may not have the temptations yet, but you might in the future. again, if you've never dealt with depression, you probably have no clue as to what i'm referring to when i say ‘temptations’. well, im referring to self harm. ah yes, the infamous self harm. everyone knows about it, everyone's aware. i myself have cut, i started two days ago. the first time i cut, i cut the most. yesterday when i cut, i added a good amount, and today when i cut, i only did it a couple times before throwing out my blade. i still have another one in my room. some people think that people cut for attention, which is the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard. who the hell would cut (or self harm in general) for attention?! right now i’m just going to be talking about ‘cutting for attention’. PEOPLE DON’T DO IT. no one would cut for attention. everyone who cuts has a reason. people do it because they think it will help. im not going to be hypocritical and tell you not to cut, because i cut, and if i told you guys not to do it because its dumb and it really doesn’t help, id be very hypocritical. yes, i hope you never cut, it isnt a good idea, because you WILL get addicted. i know what you’re telling yourself, ‘oh, she might of gotten addicted but i’ll only do it once’. yeah, go ahead and tell yourself that, that’s what i told myself. i told myself it’d only be a one time thing, and guess what, it wasn’t. dont do something if you’ll regret it. i regret putting that blade to my skin, i really do, will i do it again. possibly.
if you do find out that someone you know is depressed, or suicidal, or they self harm. dont yell at them. never ever get mad at them. it is not a choice. if we had a choice whether we were sad or happy, its obvious we’d choose to be happy. who wouldn't choose to be happy?
to all the people depressed: if someone asks you why you are sad, or why you self harmed, or why you attempted suicide, unless it’s a doctor or therapist (anyone who has the right to know) you don't have to tell them why, they don't need to know. also, i'm always here to talk, if you want my kik, email me or something.
